Best Business Bureau?

Now accepting venture capital for the following businesses:

Steaks and Stones: A steak house that allows the servers to call you names

Steak and Bake: Meat and pot

Steaky Breaky Heart: A place for steak and pop country music

Steakout: A steakhouse that plays videos of couples having affairs

Blow Cones: A whore house that serves snowcones

Fry Me to the Moon: Serving out-of-this-world french fries in a sci-fi setting

Thai Die: Really great Thai food that eventually kills you. "You know you're dying to try it!"

Juice for Jesus: A church/juicebar. "Juice you can believe in!"

Sick and Tires of It All: A shop where terminally ill patients sell tires

Butter Then Nothing: Now serving butter...just butter

Fishnets: Internet cafe that serves Fish

Scone-henge: An outdoor breakfast place in the shape of Stonehendge

WWF Snackdown: The servers are wrestlers. Sponsored by the WWF. Try their delicious headlocks and schmear on a bagel!

Interested in earning frequent flyer SMILES?

Fly iPlane!

Now Hiring: World Dominator

Want to make money and influence people (and by money, I mean all of it, and by people, I mean the world)?
You provide the plan, we'll provide the henchmen.
Must be proficient in Microsoft Office Suite (for Mac and Windows)
Send resume to: ron@theworldwillbeminesoon.com/ill-show-them-all/seriously/wait-for-it.html

I'll get the check.

Party of One

My sandwich will go on, but what will go on it?

Celine Dijon (think Newman's Own)